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Hi! My name is Tanaria Carey & I'm an artist/crafter! I love to save you time by creating vector designs for you to use in your art projects! <3
DESIGN, CREATE & INSPIRE
Hi! My name is Tanaria Carey, creator of Vinyl Cutting Inspiration. I created this post so that you could get to know a bit more about me. Firstly, I'm a shy, introverted homebody and socially awkward! Lol Secondly, I'm a lover of all arts and crafts and love to design! Thirdly, I'm a wife to an awesome husband and stay at home mom of 3 boys. Most importantly, I Love Jesus! p.s. I'm not a perfect person. I make mistakes and put my foot in my mouth more than I would like to admit. I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to help you as much as I can if you need me.
It was September, 2013. My mom hadn't been feeling well the previous couple weeks. I texted her, and asked her to come have dinner with me. Cooking was one of our favorite things to do together. She asked me via text if I would cook the sides and she would cook and bring the main dish. She was always the best at cooking the main dish. (Keep in mind, this was via text) she asked me if I would make the mashed gators! Lol stupid auto correct... I cooked the mash tators and she brought over the most wonderful main course baked in her special way. We laughed about the gators, talked, and told one another we loved each other. I knew she wasn't feeling well. I remember this night so vividly. This was the last dinner we would have together.
My hubby got home from work at about midnight and then she asked me, “Tanaria, will you please take me to the hospital?” And I said “of course”, so we got in the car and drove to the hospital. Cat scan revealed a hematoma on her brain. The next day she went into surgery to remove 100 cc's of blood off of her brain. She was sent home and I took care of her the best I could.
The next few weeks were not easy. I ended up taking her back to the hospital 6 times before she was admitted to the hospital. The last time we were at the hospital, she lay screaming in pain with her head on my lap in the emergency waiting room. It was so horrible. I felt like I couldn't help her and I knew the hospital wasn't doing what they needed to do. I was so frustrated and angry and broken inside because she was hurting and I just couldn't get her the help she needed.
After a couple of weeks, the local hospital felt they could not take care of her properly, and she was transferred to Tulane University in Louisiana. We lived in Mississippi, so during the week, I would drive to New Orleans to stay at the hospital with her, and drive home on the weekends while my husband went to work.
Another surgery took place to remove an infected mastoid bone (a bone behind her ear) and on October 18th we found out she had cancer. She was released from the hospital and passed November 6, 2013. I've never been more heart-broken in my life. The only person I've known my entire life who ever loved me unconditionally was gone. A big chunk of my heart died that day as well. I lost my mom and my best friend all in one day.
The next 3 years were a blur, crying most of the time. Depression and anxiety of life was taking a toll. I started drinking just to escape the reality that my best friend was gone. I almost died two times when all I was trying to do was get some sleep. I mean inside I wanted to die, but I needed to be there for my kids. Drinking and sleeping pills do not mix. I was in self-destruct mode not trying to be.
I would go in my workshop every night and cry just so my kids wouldn't see me. I would just imagine my mom standing there where she always did, encouraging me in projects. I'm a firm believer in God, and I know this life is not all there is. I know there is an after life, but I was so depressed from this major life change that I couldn't pull myself out of it. I knew the only thing that saved me was God and knowing my children needed me.
I had never felt more alone in my whole life after she passed. I knew I had to press on. I knew this is what my mom would have wanted. She had purchased me a scroll saw for my birthday a few years back and I already had a vinyl cutter so I started creating again.
Christmas came around, (the holidays are always hard) since Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday. My aunt called me and said, “hey, I know someone selling a laser. Do you want it”? And I was like absolutely! So that is where the this adventure started. I started learning how to design. I completely immersed myself in learning illustrator. There are so many times I wanted to throw my laptop out the window. I even busted a blood vessel in my eye straining to see where all the little nodes were. Lol
I still felt terribly alone, and decided I needed some crafty friends and that is how Vinyl Cutting Inspiration was born. I started the Facebook group and was basically crafting to cope. You know, I can't explain this feeling of loneliness but I never ever want anyone else to feel that way. Strange to me, over 6 billion people in the world, how one person can feel so alone.
I discovered a great joy helping others and it caused me to grow in more ways that I can explain. Being shy, introverted, and socially awkward hasn't helped my journey, but I can tell you my group saved my life and I consider everyone in the group my family. Please always remember, you are not alone and I'm always here to help you as much as I can. We are in this together, and if you are reading this now, you are so loved! Thank you for being such a special part of my journey! Let's design, create and inspire! We can do this!!!
p.s. I promise you my mom doesn't have horns on her head! Lol and yes I am white as a ghost. lol This is a very old photograph! Mom did not like this picture because of the horns, but it makes me laugh. Lol
Please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org any time. :)
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